What Really Happens When No One Is Watching

I remember reading a fascinating account about a hotel owner who was constantly being yelled at by irate customers. No matter what he did to try to improve the hotel’s service, people still complained just as often and just as loud. One day it might be the price of a room, another if might be the maid service, and then it would be complaints about the softness of the beds. The owner didn’t find the complaints unreasonable, but rather the manner in which they were delivered. Everyone seemed so angry.

A particular woman stuck out in his mind as she screamed obscenities, stomped her feet and waived her finger in his face. The owner found her demeanor so exaggerated that he became determined to find an answer to change people’s behavior. His solution was simple yet genius; he installed a mirror behind his desk. Once customers saw themselves in the mirror they acted with far more dignity and the hotel became a far more peaceful place.

Since that story came out, psychologists have conducted similar experiments that reached the same conclusion. When people didn’t know they were being watched they would more readily lie and cheat, that is until the researchers installed a mirror in the room. Once they did that the subjects behavior completely changed. As has been rightly said, character is how you act when no one is watching.

In his letter to Thessalonica Paul tells the people, “We instructed you how to live in order to please God.” Paul was referring to things like loving others, practicing forgiveness, and living with honor. Then he concludes; “Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more” (1 Thessalonians 4:1).

Be it challenges in corporations or financial corruption, people often dodge responsibility or manipulate the system. Evidence abounds that people will make some pretty surprising compromises when it comes to integrity if they are convinced no one is watching.

In C.S. Lewis’ classic book The Screwtape Letters a senior demon is teaching a new recruit how best to manipulate humanity. He tells his protégée, “It is funny how mortals always picture us demons as putting things into their minds; in reality our best work is done by keeping things out.”

In the 1800s Charles Hodge went on a two year trip to Germany. He was appalled at how Luther’s homeland was becoming so spiritually bankrupt. Returning to Princeton he told his students, “Keep your hearts with all diligence, for out of them are the issues of life.”

For Hodge, for you, for me, the important thing is what we put into our minds and what we prevent others from keeping out. There is glorious wonder and beauty all around because no matter how dark it gets the light always breaks through if we simply have the eyes to see.

It was Bono who said, “Your nature is a hard thing to change; it takes time. I have heard of people having life changing, miraculous turnarounds. It was not like that for me. Some say “I was lost, I am found”, for me it is probably more accurate to say, “I was really lost. I’m a little less so at the moment.” And then a little less and a little less again.”

Want to know how to change your life and even the world? Follow three simple leadership principles from Tony Robbins. One, see things as they are but not worse than they are. Two, see them better than they are. Lastly, make them as you see them. How much different things become as we practice the right things more and more. Even better when we start with the person in the mirror.