True Life Lessons People Have Shared When It Matters Most
Author Darren Hardy recently shared a question that changed his entire outlook on life. The words came from a mentor who simply asked his students, “In a relationship, what is the percentage of shared responsibility in making that relationship work?”
Some thought it was a fifty-fifty exchange, others suggested that you give a little more than you get and offered fifty-one to forty-nine percent. A particularly generous person suggested a ratio of eighty to twenty percent, but none of these were what the instructor was looking for. Instead, he approached the board and wrote “100 to zero.”
The instructor explained that each person has to be willing to give one hundred percent while having zero expectation of receiving anything in return. In essence, each person must take complete responsibility to make the relationship work.
He continued, “You as an individual have total control of how you will respond irregardless of what your partner does or doesn’t do.” This is true in every area of life.
In reality, sometimes circumstances that we did not dictate invade our lives and are beyond our control. However, at all times we have complete control over our response and can take one hundred percent responsibility for it.
In the early part of the Twentieth Century a French Naval Officer was in a car accident and left hospitalized for a year. Doctors recommended that his arm be amputated, but the officer refused to have the surgery, preferring to have an arm he couldn’t use over having it removed.
Several months later a friend mentioned that he heard swimming was great therapy for recovering from such a trauma. The young Frenchman followed his advice and found that being in the pool was the most natural thing in the world. Before long he was spending hours every day swimming.
Unable to return to aviation, he turned instead to the ocean to continue pursuing his new passion. Over time he recovered full use of his arm, continuing to immerse himself in swimming and scuba diving. Later he would invent new gear for divers, better underwater cameras and undersea labs. Over the course of his life this officer would become the world’s most famous ocean explorer, Jacques Cousteau.
Like Cousteau, moment by moment we each are faced with the decision to take complete responsibility for the only thing we control in the world; our response to what happens to us and the choices we make.
A few years ago Bill Irwin hiked the Appalachian Trail. He walked the entire 2100 miles with only his dog by his side. His accomplishment doesn’t seem very significant; after all many other people have completed the trek. However, Irwin’s story is special because he is blind. As he would share, “We never really walk on our legs, but on our will.”
Sociologist Tony Campolo took a unique study, asking 50 people over the age of 95 what they would really do differently if they could do it all over again. The top three answers they gave:
1) Reflect more
2) Risk more
3) Do more things that will outlast me
And Dan Thurmon states, “It is impossible to act in a manner inconsistent with your thinking.” Everything begins in our thoughts about what we believe is possible and about who we truly are.
As we move further into 2020, today may be a good time to ask ourselves: what do I need to change the most today. As Helen Keller said, “Life is a daring adventure or nothing.”
We don’t have to wait until we are 95 to think about what might have been; we can begin by making a new decision today. Change begins when we realize the choice really is 100% ours.
