The Secret To Better Sex

It has been said that sex is the glue that holds a marriage together. In this article I want to share one simple, but powerful technique you can use to drastically improve your sex life. The best part is it is something you already do everyday!

Before I share the technique it is important to remember that sex is a part of a whole, and for sex to be passionate and meaningful the rest of the whole also needs to be healthy.

For instance, John Gottman has done revolutionary studies on what makes or breaks relationships. One thing that he has discovered after years of research is what is known as the 5 to 1 ratio.

Simply stated, for every one negative interaction, the best marriages have five positive interactions. If someone makes a cutting remark to someone else, it will take far more energy to heal the relationship than it did to damage it. Negativity is like poison, and the ratio of 5 to 1 is far different than what many people have.

In fact, many people simply horse trade with other people; something Anthony Robbins calls Level Two relationships. What this means is that they give as good as they get, nothing more and nothing less.

For married couples, this is called being “roommates.” Even worse are people that live at Level One, which means that each person just demands what they want from the other person and seek only to have their own needs met.

Ideal marriage relationships are lived at Level Three, which means each person seeks to meet the other person’s needs without seeking to have their own needs be met. When both partners operate from here, a healthy and vibrant relationship exists.

So assuming a healthy 5 to 1 ratio (at least) relationship where both the husband and wife live at Level Three for their partner, how can sex become more passionate?

Sages have always stressed how important your breath is. In scripture the word for ‘breath’ is the same as the word for ‘spirit.’ Physiologically your breath is crucial to your health and your emotional state.

For instance, when you are stressed out and you stop and breathe and control your breath, you will begin to feel a peaceful state. In contrast, depression hinges in part upon shallow breathing which sends a very different signal to the brain. Your breath is your most intimate relationship, sadly one many people ignore.

Think about it, you can go without food for weeks and without water for days, but you can only go without your breath for seconds. Spiritually, breath is a reminder of God’s presence because he breathed life into us. These are just a few points about why breathing is far more than just an exchange of oxygen.

So how can you improve your sex life? By taking your most intimate relationship and sharing it with your partner. Simply match your partners breathing when you are making love. Both sex and breathing are spiritual exercises, far more than just physical interactions. When you mix these two relationships you will discover a more passionate and pleasurable experience.

So practice a healthy 5 to 1 ratio relationship, seek to meet your partners needs, and share the intimacy of matching your partners breathing. This really will take your relationship to another level.