How Asking Better Questions Can Transform Your Life

Author Darren Hardy shared that a friend told him that two words his boss said changed his entire life for the better. When Hardy asked what the boss had said his friend replied, “You’re fired.”

CEO Mark Peysha had a friend whose father was very distraught over a new business competitor in town. Both families owned barber shops. The new business had a special deal they advertised; Six Dollar Haircuts.

The father said they simply couldn’t compete and would have to close their doors. However, after an hour of using the power of questions, the family came up with a brilliant plan. Their new sign would read, ‘We fix six dollar haircuts’.

What you focus on is what you feel. What determines your focus is the questions you ask. Ask a lousy question and you get a lousy answer.

Rather than get angry, the first man above asked, ‘What is great about this’. He soon discovered that losing his job meant he could pursue his own business and be free from the restraints of his hold boss.

For the family that owned the barber shop they simply asked, ‘How can we use this’. Their question led to a great marketing campaign. They asked far different questions than, ‘Why me’ or ‘Why now?’

Anthony Robbins suggests the first question to ask when faced with any challenge is, “What is great about this problem?” The key is to do this from a fully focused and fully present state of mind. Ask with a sense of certainty and your brain will find the answer.

Consider how couples fight. Someone says something unkind and the questions begin flooding each person’s mind. “Why does he always do this?” “Why doesn’t she ever listen to me?” Or take someone who struggles with peace of mind. Behind this is the question repeated over and over, “How come this always happens to me?”

What if the couple instead chose to consciously ask questions such as, What do I most love about my partner? What can I appreciate in this moment? How did I get so lucky to have them in my life?”

Take the person who struggles to find peace of mind. How much different would their life be if they consistently asked, How can I use this day to best serve the needs of others?

Here are a few more to use daily. Who do I appreciate? What is something that made me laugh out loud? What am I proud of this week?

Want to change how you feel? Want to change your life and relationships? Make asking better questions a daily practice.